The Journey Inward: Finding Myself Across Borders
Not every trip begins with a guidebook.
Or a deep internet search for the most Instagrammable spots.
Some journeys begin with a quiet ache - a soft whisper from within.
A need to pause. To breathe. To come home to yourself.
I didn’t set off to tick places off a list. I set off to understand what was going on inside my own heart. To realign my values and find my way back to who I was becoming.
When Life Whispers “Pause”
For three beautiful years, I lived a dream.
I had always longed to work with elephants and one day, without perfect timing or a detailed plan, I did it. I bought a one-way ticket to Thailand, unsure of what was waiting on the other side. All I knew was that I needed to follow this deep inner pull - the desire to do something meaningful.
My journey began in 2022, in the rolling hills of Northern Thailand. I joined an internship with a project that works alongside the local Karen community to improve the lives of elephants formerly used in tourism or logging.
I started as an intern, learning about elephants - their behaviours, their social structures, their diets, and what they truly need to thrive. Every day brought new lessons. I never stopped learning.
Six months in, I was offered a position as Guest Coordinator at Kindred Spirit Elephant Sanctuary. It meant I could stay - keep growing, keep listening, keep walking beside these incredible animals. I couldn’t have been happier.
And the journey didn’t stop there.
Two years later, I became Co-Director of the sanctuary.
That’s when things slowly began to shift.
Or maybe the shift had already begun - I just hadn’t noticed yet.
Suddenly, I felt a deep need for change. Not a rush of excitement, but a quiet, persistent call to reconnect. My body was speaking to me, but I wasn’t listening. I started having trouble sleeping. Being around people became draining. I couldn’t seem to access that light-hearted, joyful part of myself - the one I had always carried with ease.
It was confusing.
I was living my dream.
So why did I feel so far from myself?
Photo by Kate Walker, 2023
The Magic of Slow Travel
It took a lot of strength to make the decision. And the day I left the place I had called home for so long, that was the hardest.
Saying goodbye to the people I loved, and to the elephants who had shown me what resilience and compassion truly mean, even in the most difficult moments.
Deep down, I knew it was the right choice, even if it broke my heart.
I didn’t jump straight into a new plan. I gave myself time to wander - slowly, quietly.
To feel again.
One of the first steps I took was signing up for a 10-day Vipassana meditation course in Chiang Mai. No phone, no books, no distractions - just silence. A chance to listen inward, to sit with my thoughts, to really feel them, and to begin learning how to let them go.
One lesson that stayed with me was this:
If something is holding you back, you can either accept it, change it, or let it go.
Simple words, but full of truth.
There was so much wisdom in that temple. I’ll carry those lessons with me for the rest of my life.
Time slowed down. Days blurred together. And for the first time in a long while, I let go of the pressure to move forward quickly. I just... was.
From that experience, I promised myself to bring that slowness with me into every new place I visited. Even in busy, crowded cities, I tried to stay present. To walk slowly. To observe instead of rush.
It wasn’t always easy but even a small step felt like progress. A quiet victory.
Northern Insight Meditation Center WAT RAMPOENG (TAPOTARAM)
Moments from the Road
As my time in the temple ended, I set off on a long journey - a night bus to Bangkok and a 16-hour train ride to Padang Besar, the border with Malaysia.
What a journey.
I’ve always loved train rides. Moving through places and being able to see everything around you. Admiring landscapes that rush past the window. I find it peaceful a way to stay grounded, not floating somewhere high above the world.
I used this time to reflect and feel into where this journey might take me.
If you’re still reading, thank you for sticking around.
And if you’re looking for tips on what to do in Malaysia… well, this isn’t that kind of blog.
Here, I want to share what I’ve learned - from north to south - through the moments that shaped me:
Langkawi taught me to slow down. To unwind. The beauty of quiet places and the magic of being by the water. Just breathing in the salty air and resting beneath a pine tree.
George Town showed me that creativity lives everywhere. In murals, in food, in vibrant streets. It reminded me that mixing the old with the new can lead to something beautiful. Inside places and inside ourselves.
Ipoh was a surprise. A town often overlooked, but where I found unexpected charm. Surrounded by caves and quiet beauty, I learned to look beyond the surface, in places, and in people too.
The Cameron Highlands wrapped me in mist and endless tea plantations. A place of stillness and beauty, where I slowed down once again.
Kuala Lumpur had me wandering between towering skyscrapers and wild jungle. It reminded me that many parts of me can coexist - the bold dreamer and the quiet wanderer.
Kuching was one of my favourite places. A city where I felt at peace. Watching the river’s light show, letting tears run down my cheeks, I remembered what it means to simply be; not overwhelmed, not performing, just present.
Borneo called me because I wanted to see orangutans in the wild. The journey led me to Batang Ai, where I stayed with the Iban community. Life there reminded me of the richness in simplicity, the beauty of tradition, and how deeply rooted we can be in the land.
Four days in the jungle - hiking, searching, hoping. On the last day, we saw one. An orangutan in a tree, eating and watching us from afar.
This moment taught me to never give up hope.
Even when you're ready to stop looking, life might still surprise you.
Sometimes, it's like nature waits until your heart is ready.
Malacca was the final stop. A town full of stories beautifully told and lovingly preserved. It taught me that stories shape us. They are part of who we are.
Sunset in George Town, April 2025
For Anyone Going Through a Rough Patch
If you’re feeling lost, tired, or unsure. I see you.
I didn’t find all the answers on the road. Sometimes, I still don’t know what’s next.
But I found breath.
I found gentleness.
I found that it’s okay to not always be okay.
What helped me:
Walking. Just walking, with no destination.
Writing, even when the words didn’t make sense.
Nature - always.
Not forcing joy to return, but making space for it.
What didn’t help:
Pushing through.
Pretending I was fine when I wasn’t.
Comparing my path to someone else’s.
If you're in a tender place, maybe you don’t need a grand plan.
Maybe you just need a small step.
A deep breath.
A moment to sit beside your own heart and say,
“I’m still here.”
I didn’t come back with all the answers.
But I came back with a little more clarity. A little more presence. A softness I thought I had lost.
And maybe that’s enough.
Travel doesn’t heal everything, but it reminds us that we’re still alive.
Still curious. Still capable of starting again.
So here’s to the journeys that begin not with a map, but with a quiet ache.
To walking slow. To listening deep.
To finding ourselves - one step at a time.
