When the Night Sky Fades: Searching for Peace in Dubai
Have you ever had a whole meal while watching a movie in the cinema? Well, in Dubai this is possible. I ordered a whole pizza, popcorn, and a coke, and it was all delivered while I was comfortably sitting on the chairs and watching the movie.
I know this is a strange way to start a blog post, but it made me reflect on how different every place can be. For three years, I lived in Thailand in a remote village four hours from Chiang Mai. I was surrounded by mountains and trees, with the gentle sound of a river in the background, kids screaming, and dogs barking (which I never quite got used to). Life was simple.
My days often started with hiking to see the elephants in the forest. We would educate tourists about the conservation work we were doing and the situation of elephant tourism in Thailand and beyond. We had bucket showers with cold water, our feet were always dirty, but our hearts were full. From that experience, I learned that beauty lies in simplicity. You don’t need much to be happy, and the less you have, the more you can focus on what truly matters.
Spending a month in Dubai was a stark contrast and honestly, quite overwhelming. The streets were filled with people driving in every direction, every second, day and night. Dubai never sleeps, like every big city, I assume. But coming from a small village where life followed the sun and moon, this felt like stepping into chaos. There was no clear time for sleep or wakefulness; everything seemed like a big mess. It mirrored my own life right now.
That said, taking a month away felt necessary. I wanted to realign with myself and figure out what my next step should be. Did it work? I’m not so sure. My trip to Dubai was primarily because a friend was getting married. It was an opportunity to reconnect and spend time together, especially since I’m not sure when we’ll next meet. You reach a point in life when all your friends are scattered across the globe, each following their own dreams and growing up in their own way.
So I told myself: right now, I’m figuring things out after returning from Thailand. I don’t have a waiting job, so I’ll take this chance to be with my friend. Of course, my friend had moved to Dubai, a city with towering skyscrapers, constantly evolving and improving, with temperatures reaching 50 degrees in the shade, and sadly, no trees. A perfect place for someone who loves the outdoors and being surrounded by nature, but I gladly made this sacrifice for my friend.
This wasn’t my first time in Dubai; I had been through on long layovers and explored the city a bit. But this was my first time staying for a whole month. What an adventure it was!
The wedding itself was beautiful, a blend of two cultures that brought so many people together. And the food! I won’t even start on the food, it was amazing. They even had a chocolate fountain, and there were moments when I just wanted to bury my face in it. While I won’t share personal details about the wedding, I just want to say: weddings are so much fun!
This month also gave me space to clear my head from the constant noise of other people’s opinions. I tend to try to make everyone happy, often forgetting about my own needs. I struggle to express my thoughts and feelings and frequently get stuck inside my head, like a hamster wheel that never stops spinning. That’s why breaks like this are so important. They allow you to slow down, step off the wheel for a moment, observe what’s happening around you, and maybe even change direction if you feel the need.
While reflecting on all this, I came across an entry from my diary during my time in Dubai: “I was swimming in the pool, looking at the night sky. It’s so different here and now. Only three stars were bright enough to be seen. Their light was dimmed by the towering skyscrapers. There’s no clear view of the night sky, and I really miss it. I miss the peace the Thailand night sky brought me, the calm in my mind as I gazed toward the infinite mountains. I felt so small, and so did my worries. Everything felt possible. Now there is no starlight to guide me, no shooting star to wish upon. But despite that, I’m grateful. Grateful that I had the chance to experience that feeling because now I can carry it with me wherever I go. It lives in me.”
Despite Dubai not being my vibe, I found beauty in it, especially at night when the sun goes down and the city reveals its lights. One night, we spent time on the 77th floor of a hotel in an infinity pool with a breathtaking view of the city below and all around. It was impressive to see how everything transformed as darkness fell and the city lights flickered on.
It felt like a dream waiting to be pursued, or hope igniting after a difficult time. A wish answered, and the spark of a love that will never fade. Like the peace you finally find after the storm has calmed. Every second on that tower brought a sense of peace and wonder. It felt like anything was possible, nothing too small if you put your heart and soul into it.
During my stay, I read a postcard that said, “Dubai, a city where everything is possible.” Spending this month here reminded me of that truth. It’s possible to start over, change your path, and begin something new. To try what you once thought wasn’t for you, or pushed aside out of fear. Because even when you start over, you never start from zero, you always start with experience.
This is what Dubai taught me. But as soon as I crossed my own front door, sadness struck again. Dubai was a pause, a breath I could take, but returning home brought back all the worries I had buried. And I’m still working through them.
Whenever I seek clarity or time in nature, I like to go to my quiet place, a spot on top of a hill with a beautiful view of a lake surrounded by hills. Behind the lake, you can see the sea, and on the opposite side, if the weather is clear, the majestic mountains. From this one place, I can see everything.
This is where I go to breathe when I struggle to fill my lungs with air. When worries, thoughts, and sadness threaten to drown me. When I try to see clearly, but my eyes are blinded by tears. When all I want is to scream, but no sound comes out.
I think we all need a place like this, a spot to go when we feel lost. I keep reminding myself that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes because only when you’re lost can you truly find your way.
